My aunt is dead.
My one true love has gotten completely over me.
I live in a horrible place to try and be happy.
I mean, pinetop lakeside/show low...its miserable here, and everyone I knew has realized that and moved on.
Im stuck.
Vanessa has gotten over me, yet here I am bellowing about her still and balling my eyes out. How the hell did she do it?
My aunt nikki, one of the closest relatives I knew passed away...
Wtf life?
I can not stop shaking, or crying.
Call me a baby, call me a pussy, call me whatever you want.
But this is pain to me ok.
It may not be as strong a pain you feel, or I may not be as strong as you are.
But in my standards, this is pain.
My heart hurts from heatbreak.
Eyes hurt from crying so much.
Head hurts from thinking about too many things.
Body hurts from lack of sleep.
I dont know why this has started happening, but my planets are definitely not aligned what-so-ever blogger.
They are off. Skewed even.
and I dont know why I am even trying to get this feeling of dread away.
The more I try, the worse it gets, the more terrible I feel.
My life...is just turning into a terrible track record of horrible accidents.
No...this isn't an emo becoming of me.
This is me venting. Because I hurt inside and the only way I find myself thinking better is when I tell the internet about it...thousands...no millions of random people who don't know me could accidentally see this and start laughing because of it.
But you know what...I want them to.
I don't care who sees this, because its my way of venting without feeling dreadful or terrified.
So judge, comment, message.
I dont care, I've lost all hope in life, and hope you find some in yours.
Because I have become bitter, and feel its more just for you to have happiness.
I will be a shell, absorbing whatever emotion is needed for the time, but in reality, im not feeling much of anything inside anymore.
Crests and waves, Brendo. Your happiness is limited by the depths of your sorrow. You're carving yourself a bigger hole in your heart, all the more to be filled with joy later.
ReplyDeleteHuman beings are anything but static. Life comes in ebbs and flows. Don't despair, the tide is changing, or will be soon.
Just... Wade's two cents there.