Good evening, Dear reader.

Life....has never been better for me. (with the exception of one or two things which will be covered later in the post)
I mean, who else can say they work at GameStop in pinetop/showlow?
Well....granted it is in pinetop/showlow.....hmmm....never mind.
Still, Gamestop! Me? Working there, I mean holy crap, its the perfect job for me if you know me. (Bit o' a video game nerd...ok so a huge video game nerd)
So yeah, its awesome, plus I've been pulling 40 hour/week!
Talk about awesome paycheck=D
Now the perfect job will let me get my effing piercings back, but that can wait for a while, at least I get tattoos and whatnot at gamestop, which is shweeet!

On to the next order of business;
The two things that I find a bit troubling in my life...sad to admit, one of them is my celibacy.
The reason I am sad about this isn't because it's broken (more or less the opposite) I want it broken.
I want a girlfriend, and it is so hard to find a decent one, it is just aggravating because I don't want to be alone anymore...god I sound stupid saying that.
I don't know, just over the past few weeks I've been really thinking, "Hey...you know what would be awesome right now? Someone to sleep next to...or even just someone to talk to and tell them I care about them..."
And I have this empty feeling about it...everytime I think about it, I just really want to find someone, hmmm well thats just it for that part.

Second is the fact that I really want to be out on my own, not living with my sister.
Nothing against her, I just really want to try to live by myself and see how that could go, you know?
I'm just really nervous because what if I can't do that by myself? What if I am too dependent on others?
I don't want to have to live with someone for the rest of my life unless it's my wife, and I want her to depend on me, not vice versa.
I want to be strong willed and strong hearted, but I feel weak at the thought of being alone.
I want the money and the financial stability that I have been given since I was born till I was 19.
It's terrible to think about this because its stressing me out so much.
For god sakes, I feel like I am about to get shingles again...ugh.

Life is hard blogger/passerby, it always will be.
So why can't I get it through my head that no matter what happens, it will be hard, but I will always have a safety plan with my family.
I will always have someone to fall back on.
Someone to go to.
Someone to live with.
But thats just it, I don't want to live with my family forever, I want to live with a family I started.
A family with someone I connect with on much deeper levels than anyone could imagine.
I want a family like my family.
But life is hard, and I need to wait until I find that perfect girl.
Wherever she is.
And find that perfect balance of life.
Wherever that is.
And I need to find all of this on my own, no help besides words of encouragement from my family and my friends.

Well thats about that for now, Im tired, going into work at 10 tomorrow (wooo!) and buying a PS3 soon, and I am excited for that=D
So farewell, please don't be distraught by my troubling times, It's just me venting.
Goodnight all, and remember, if it's not for you, it's FOR SCIENCE!!!!